I always promised myself to write something here but some things came up and I ended up putting those so-called promises on hold, up until today. It got delayed so many times but this time around I really want to write something. There are so many things going on that I think it's just too much for me to handle. So I ended up coming here again. You know how I rarely tell my problems to others, I always write and write as my own coping mechanism but I don't really write that much these days. I keep on holding them back and it does stress the hell out of me sometimes. So here I am again. 

    Let me give a quick life update. So basically what happened after my last entry which is in 2017 was, yes. I do get accepted into a boarding school in Perak. It was really a bittersweet experience if you ask. I wouldn't say I love it, it gave me some traumas to be exact. Having to meet some weird people that almost make me leave that place, numerously cried myself to sleep and even thought of giving up. But I am still grateful for the opportunity. I got out of my comfort zone, found my true self, and finally got to see my own worth. All these times I always think that there's nothing to look forward to in myself. Whenever someone asked me what I want to become in the future, I never had that many plans. I just want to live a regular life as there's really not much to look forward to. Even people around me don't put that much hope in me. But after 2 years in that place, I finally found what I really want to achieve in life, which is doing the things I love while being able to love myself at the same time. I gained and learned so many things there. That even my 12 years old self wouldn't believe that I make it this far. 

Who would have thought I could become the top student there? Surpassing people I never thought to even come near with. I even got to become a mentor in some subjects and even ended up getting all As for the hellish final exam. 

    Thankfully last year, my grades allowed me to enter the top foundation here. I feel like I am becoming my old self there honestly. I am very quiet and went missing most of the time as the university is so near to my house and only like 20 minutes away. As we are allowed to take online classes at home throughout the movement control order, I was home most of the time. I don't really have many friends apart from my tutorial-mates and I don't even recall anyone other than them. Thankfully again, I managed to get a pretty decent CGPA and ended up getting 3 out of 4 interviews for medical schools. All of them were hard honestly and I have already given up on pursuing medicine as I messed up real bad on all the interviews. But His plans are always so unexpected. I never thought to be accepted to the university again, this time with the hardest course to enter and the course of my dream! Now let me scream on top of my lungs: I am going to be a doctor!

    So that's the life update. It's pretty boring and not so dramatic but I am very grateful how everything falls into its place perfectly. Although the roads to achieve all of these are very bumpy and I doubted myself along the way a lot, I am very sure this is the path I am going to go with and I am willing to do my best no matter how hard it is to reach the end road. I believe there is a whole garden with different kinds of flowers awaiting me. I just need to keep on going to reach them. :)